Beauty Tricks!

 

Based on the number of hours and dollars I’ve spent in the beauty aisle of CVS, Walgreens, Rite-Aid, Target and every department store ever built, I hereby decree myself a beauty expert. Well, a beauty trick expert. Let’s get right to it, shall we? Note: I also hereby declare myself free from liability if these tricks don’t work.

Preparation H for bags under your eyes/puffy eyes. This is a no. A no! Don’t do this. It’s hemorrhoid cream, people. Let’s just think about that for a moment. It’s gross. (To a certain beloved person in my life: I’m talking to you.)

imgresVicks VapoRub for bags under your eyes/puffy eyes. Yes! But beware! A little goes a long way, and if you get this IN your eyes…well, let’s just an eye patch or two will come in handy. Keep it on for a minute or two, then carefully wash the Vicks off. Life has shown me that Vicks Vapo-Rub is in fact the only thing I’ll ever need—moisturizer, cough medicine, beauty product, aromatherapy. Probably, if you were trying to survive on Everest, you can eat it, too. Do not try this unless you’re stranded on Everest.

slappingBrisk slapping. Listen. It works. Under the chin, on the cheeks, on the eyes. Does the effect last? No. But it’ll wake you up, at least. The slightly swollen skin makes your face look young and firm and, well, slightly abused if you don’t restrain yourself.

 

wrinkiesWrinkle prevention via Scotch tape. Okay, I actually haven’t tried this…but I did see these at the Vermont Country Store. Same thing, sort of. Next time McIrish is at the firehouse, I’m gonna give old Scotch tape a whirl. It may be the next Vicks VapoRub.

Have a great week, guys!

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