Like so many of my heroines, I am not a perfect physical specimen. In THE BEST MAN, our heroine, Faith, is a bit on the chubby side. Lush, the hero generously calls her. Still, she struggles into those tortuous undergarments that promise to smooth and lift and smoosh and lipo-suck (and don’t work, let’s be honest). I know, because a couple of these are taking up space in the second drawer of my bureau. This doesn’t stop hope from springing eternal.
The other day, I heard of something called Booty Magic. “Oooh!” I exclaimed in delight. “I’ve never heard of that one before!” I leaped for my computer, went to Google (I live in fear that the FBI is going to confiscate my computer and see all the bizarre things I’ve looked at online…but I’m not scared enough to stop these searches).
A few clicks of the keyboard, and there it was, that magical garment that would give me J-Lo’s figure. Granted, it looked like a cross between a back brace and something you’d find in an S&M shop in Provincetown, but still. I debated. Did I want a J-Lo butt? Doesn’t everyone? But was I willing to don such a garment? Um…no. Not this time. I feared that if I did, and attempted to sit, something akin to a high colonic would be administered against my will.
There’s a scene in THE BEST MAN where Faith’s undergarment comes into play. Taken from my own life? I’ll never tell.